Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Wedding Process

I think I have said "its a process" about a zillion times in my life - because EVERYTHING is a process. Well getting married and planing to move to St Barth is also a process - a really big one. As Americans we have been accustomed to instant gratification. The French - they are a country of leisure and process. There is a process for EVERYTHING and if you aren't French the process becomes even more complicated.

Even before we officially got engaged we had been talking about our wedding, where it would be and how it would work. Once we got engaged we quickly learned that it wasn't going to be quite so simple. Due to lots of reasons we are now having 3 separate events - but before any of them we need to follow the legal process. This included 3 trips for me to lawyers, one to a translator and then one to the French Consulate in NYC. You see, the French have funny rules around recognizing a marriage, and if our marriage didn't happen in a French court (all French marriages are civil in nature there is no legal  recognition of a religious ceremony) our marriage would not be recognized here. So we are having a civil ceremony in St Barth. It took me about a month to get all the documents in order and have them translated by a Consulate approved translator and lawyer.

While I was working on that we had to plan the actual events. This meant coordinating our families travel schedules - this was no small feet and almost got to the point of the ridiculous - turns out August 17th was the only date that worked for everyone - so that's how that happened. Then the accommodations and details for ST Barth - not easy since I pointed out yesterday - je n parler pas bien Francais. But we are getting there.

My biggest shock came two days ago. Now to preface, I have been a bridsmaid too many times and have helped lots and lots of friends get married - never once did I experience the groom wanting to be involved. So two nights ago we were walking home and my fiance announces he wanted to be more involved and help. I may have stopped dead in my tracks, if i didn't physically i did mentally. He thought it would be good if we had a schedule of events and figured out who we were inviting to what, as well as a few other suggestions. This from the man who really didn't seem that interested in doing anything too formal less than a month ago. 

So now I have my fiance wanting to help - this is GREAT! We even made some progress in buying his suit, discussed catering options here, and worked on a list. There is still soooo much to do, but am glad I have a partner who wants a say. That said, when I mentioned the florist yesterday, I was reminded that I knew where it was and that was really something I could handle.

Well I'll take the small victories. 

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