Are You Nervous?

That seems to be the number one question I have been asked over the last few weeks. I keep saying "no" because I'm not nervous about marrying Didier - I know how much we love each other and how committed we both are to this relationship. We have had all the "hard" talks, we have the blessings of our families. So no, I am not nervous about marrying him. As far as the life-change well hey, life can't change for me much more than it already has - so no, not nervous about that either - already had that breakdown, survived, next. We know it's not going to be easy - but getting here wasn't easy and we did it. So no I am not nervous about getting married.

I AM nervous though. I'm worried about everything else and it's frustrating. At the end of the day the most important thing is that we get married and the other stuff shouldn't matter, but it does. We have family and friends here that have gone through great lengths to celebrate with us and we want them to enjoy themselves. I'm nervous how this motley crew will all get along. I'm nervous that things will go wrong. Our roommate was teasing me yesterday by playing "Under Pressure" as a tribute to the final countdown - while I pretended to not be amused I was. Because i realized that no matter what, things can go wrong and I need to just let go.

Now having been in many weddings over the years, I know that something always goes wrong and the best thing to do is let it go. We had our first major wrinkle thrown at us on Friday - you guessed it, it's related to paperwork... yep, without getting into details, we had to make alternate transportation for 7 family and friends to get here. Ok, no big deal, a couple of  calls and a little cash and its done. It's not a surprise that it has to do with paperwork - nope not even a tiny little bit.

But now I am nervous that since that was so easily fixable something else will go wrong. My biggest fear is flight cancellations and weather. But again nothing I can do - but maybe say a little prayer, keep the fingers and toes crossed and hope that it goes well. I'm also nervous about some of the other details. Did we get everything done? Did we miss something important?

At this point all I can do is sit and wait and hope. So am I nervous yes. But not the way most people think. I'm nervous about the stuff that won't matter 10 years from now - heck I know some brides that have great stories because of things that went wrong - fires, rainstorms, dresses falling apart.....stuff like that can happen and there is nothing I can do about it. So as long as we get married and we have some family and friends to celebrate with, then my nerves were unnecessary but unavoidable.