Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Walking Through Doors

A friend of mine posted this quote on Facebook the other day "There are some doors in life you need to go through alone." from Joe vs. the Volcano. It was so on point with so much that going on in my life right now. I have an unbelievable support system - I am one of the luckiest people I know in this respect - my family is incredibly close, I have a very large group of friends and confidants that I trust, amazing friends, but there are a lot of aspects of this journey I had to do on my own, for me.

I had to make the decision to quit my job on my own - especially since I didn't have another one locked in. I had to decide to allow myself to fall in love with the most unlikely match on my own and I had to make the decision to leave NY on my own. It's not to say I didn't have help and support, I had tons, but the decisions they had to be mine and mine alone. I had to decide if I really wanted to allow myself to fall in love then I was the only one that had to decide if that love was worth me leaving the life that I had spent 39 years forming.

The thing about doors is, unless they are made of glass you can't see through what's on the other side. You have to trust when that door opens you can handle whatever is on the other side. I had to trust my gut on this and I couldn't allow myself to be influenced by the people that I know love me wanting me to stay. It was time for me to take a new kind of risk.

I didn't approach these decisions lightly but I didn't approach them the way I have approached so much in my life - with tons of input from my family & friends. Actually, if I listened to what a lot of you were saying and THINKING in the beginning I would not have taken this rout. Don't think for one second that I don't know that most of the people closest to me think/thought that I had completely lost my mind. I know you did, hey you might still. Maybe I am  - but I don't think so. I think I am happy. I was the only person who was living in my life, I was the only person who knew that this relationship was different, I was the only person who knew that despite everything that I had lived knew that this journey was the one that was going to make me happy.

All of this said, I was able to go through those doors alone because of the amazing people in my life. Because I know my family and friends love me for me and not for the job I have, the apartment I live in or who I am married to. So while I didn't lean on many of you to help me make the decisions, I knew you were there and I love you all for it! So thank you for being ready to support me when I was ready for the support and thank you for sticking by me even if you think I am nuts!

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